becoming a mother has turned me into the biggest sap.

I can not stomach violence. I never really could, but now, when I hear about children being hurt or parents having their kids taken from them, or children not receiving proper care, and so on, I literally fell sick.

I can not imagine doing anything to harm my son. I go so far out of my way to see to it that his every need is taken care of.  I have made parenting decisions that benefit him and leave me exhausted. But at the end of the day, I know that I am doing what’s best for our family.

On the rare occasion that he “whines” himself to sleep (soooo not full on CIO), I cringe at the thought of him whining in his crib, but know how tired he is and that he really needs to go to sleep.  Overnight I attend to him upon each waking, and all day I respond to his incessant requests to be held. (He’s learned how to ask to be worn in the Ergo!)

I just can’t imagine not responding to my baby. I can not imagine him in serious pain or distress. And yet it’s not enough. I feel so overwhelmed by the news reports of child neglect and violence. I feel paralyzed by the news reports. I want to keep my son in a bubble forever, and I know I can not, and that it would not be good for him.

Ya. So this has been on my mind for oh, about 16 months. It seems so obvious to me, but I guess I’ve never really said it our loud, or written it here.

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