Some days you just have to cry.

My sweet little Mr. E has been sick all week. He developed a fever on Monday. He did not seem bothered by it and mostly slept all the time. But when he still had the fever on Wednesday I called the pedis and asked if I should bring him in, and they said yes. So I did. He had also developed a cough by Wednesday.

His diagnosis was viral and we were sent home to wait it out. I’d been giving him T.ylenol, and asked if we could start M.otrin now that he 6 months. Pedi said yes and A bought some on her way home. While at the pedis I also had her look at Mr. E’s eczema. Last month she gave us a prescription for a topical ointment. Sometimes it helps but most days the affected areas still look painful and he scratches at it. She said to add L.otrimin AF into the mix.

His fever broke Wednesday night, but was back Thursday afternoon so I gave him the M.otrin for the first time. And his cough was worse. He woke from his nap with red blotches around his eyes and by bed time there were little red spots all over his body.Thursday night was a night of little sleep and musical beds for all three of us.

Friday morning the rash was worse. I picked him up from his crib and literally gasped. My mother heard me and asked what was wrong. It was the first time since the epic Jaundice that I truly panicked. My mother calmed me down and watched him while I called the pedis. Again.

They told me to bring him in at 11:15. Incidentally I had an appointment with my new doctor scheduled for 12:30 two towns away. And it’s summer time, which means traffic is insane. Mr. E cried the most heartbreaking cry the whole way there. Granted he was tired, but it just got to me. By the time we walked through the door he and I were both crying. The pedi, who I am slowly warming up to, was at the main desk, saw how upset I was and whisked us away immediately. She’s never shown an ounce of bedside manner, and I honestly didn’t know she had it in her. Maybe we’ll stay with her after all. I don’t know, but maybe.

Turns out the rash is just another part of the virus he’s fighting and not an allergic reaction to the Motrin, which we thought it may be. And apparently, there is no cough medicine safe for babies, so we just have to hope the cough resolves its self (although the pedi said she thinks the no cough medicine thing is bogus, she can’t prescribe).

Mr. E was the only one crying when we left. My heart was breaking. I seriously can not take the helpless feeling of not being able to comfort my baby. It’s the worst thing. And I know that this is a minor illness. Those of you dealing with serious illness have my utmost respect and I wish I could just give you a big hug!

I had planned to take my baby to my appointment but his melt down continued and I knew he was tired. My SIL saved the day by meeting me at the house, letting me put Mr. E in his crib (where he’s still sleeping two hours later), while prolonging her own two kids nap, so that I could go to my appointment and let him sleep.

I liked my new doctor. He is very pro breastfeeding. Always a good thing in my book. He’s also the first doctor to order me to have a mammogram. We were reviewing my family health history and when I revealed my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer at 35, he looked shocked and then wrote up a slip for me to be screened. Oh what fun. But I have to say, I am impressed with the early screening.

I’m home now. Just scarfed down lunch, but overall just feel really fragile. I am glad my baby is sleeping, but I want to hold him and kiss him and make him all better.