That’s how many days till Moon’s due.

127 does not sound very far off. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what life will be like in 127 days. We want this baby so very much, but I can not ignore the fact that for the last six and a half years it’s just been the two of us. We spent the first three years together as a somewhat crazy young couple. We had fun, partied a lot, slept very little, and somehow I got through grad school while A. worked to support us.

About three years ago we started the transition into thinking seriously about having a baby. We still had lots of fun. A year later we started trying. When you wait 19 months for a bfp, you begin to doubt it will ever happen. It becomes a routine: wake up, take temp, pee on a variety of sticks, enter data into chart, obsess about timing, have a melt down each month as ovulation approaches, drop everything to go in for IUIs, wait, wait, obsess, get a negative, cry. And then it would start all over in a few days. It was the longest roller coaster I’ve ever been on.

Our dreams came true on May 15th this year when in the middle of the night I poas and two pink lines formed. We’d finally caught the egg, all the work we’d done was worth it, we were, for the first time pregnant. And in total shock.

In some way, I feel like the shock and disbelief of it working is just now clearing way. And on one hand I am so excited that I wish January would just hurry up and get here, and on the other hand I am really dealing with knowing that A. and I will only be two for four more months. I know bringing a baby into the mix will go seamlessly. It will. But I just can’t picture what life will be like. I can’t help but think about all of this as we are about to head out of town to our favorite romantic get away for the last time pre baby.

Last spring, before I was pregnant A. decided to book a weekend get away for my birthday. I think it was a birthday / we need to get away from the insanity of our lives trip at the time. But we canceled the trip due to my morning sickness and postponed my birthday to when I’d be feeling better. So this weekend, we’re off for my birthday / last trip pre baby / last weekend A. has off from school till Jan. It’s hard to believe after five years of making this trip the next time we go we’ll have to plan around a baby. And by this I mean, leave the baby at home with the grandparents. And the whole experience will surely be different.

It’s times like now that I am okay with the natural passing of every day and feel no urge to speed the time. Each day we get closer to Moon, and each day provides us more time as just a couple. I know the day Moon arrives everything will shift in an instant and we’ll all be different, but I think the shift will feel natural and our family will feel complete.

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