A. and I have been together a little more than six years. From the start there was very little question that we’d ever part ways. I’ll never know how I knew, but with in several months of being together I just knew we’d be together forever. I remember looking at her college graduation picture and thinking someday our kids will look at that picture of their two moms together from such a young age, and experiencing one of life’s greatest celebrations.

Long before we ever dreamed of getting legally married, we discussed having children. And the major dilemma was always the last name (perhaps we should’ve been more concerned about where the sperm would come from?). What would it be? Neither one of us wanted to take the others name, and when we did get married we kept our names, knowing that some day we’d have to deal with the last name dilemma.

A. has been an advocate of taking parts from both of our names to create a new name for our children. While I think this is a neat idea, I feel strongly that as a two-mom family, we need name connections. Although this conversation did provide us with years of entertainment and many funny names tossed into the conversations. Another option was to have one of our last names as the middle name and the other as the last name. I was never too excited about this, because as stated above I think it’s important as a two-mom family to have name connection. Then we moved towards the idea of having two last names, but not hyphenating them. I guess the reasoning being that the kid could do what they wanted with the two names…use only one or use both. And then we realized if we were going to do the two last name thing, we might as well hyphenate the names. This means our kid will have a sixteen letter last name with seven syllables. But again, I feel strongly that as a two-mom family we both need to have name connection to our kids – even in this great state of Massachusetts where we are married and will benefit from second parent adoption. When A. calls the doctors or school, I want them to know she is the mom too. I don’t want there to be any confusion about our family, and I believe names go a long way to support this. So we recently decided to torture our kids with a long ass hyphenated name. Nice, huh!

And in perhaps one of our first parent sacrifice moments, we’ve decided to hyphenate our own names as well! I don’t mean sacrifice in a bad way. It’s just that as it is my signature usually only gets five out of the ten letters in my name, so now…well maybe I’ll just sign the first letter of each name. And A. will likely be the teacher with longest last name in her school.

I’ve only just begun sifting through the information on-line about how to do this with a goal of having it all done well in advance of January so that we are the Myname-Aname family before the baby. On the positive side having one name will save on some confusion we seem to always have. Most businesses are not equip to keep track of people in two name house holds, so for example when we call our veterinary office we are both me, since it’s all in my name (oh we tried once to get it in both of our names…and they could NEVER find our cats charts). Recently A. started the process of having some work done on one of our cars, a part was ordered and I will need to call Monday. So I asked her, who do I need to be when I call? We both think having the same last name will end this madness.

So there you have it, after years of debate we’re joining our names, and I keep telling A. this is very different from changing our names and seems like the natural thing to do. I’m glad we didn’t rush it. I think having had all this time to think about it has helped us both come to a place where we are happy with our decision. I’ll let you know if I think it’s still a good idea once we start telling all the powers that be – social security, banks, credit cards…oh the fun!

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