A. and I have been going through / preparing for lots of transitions. I started looking for a new job in December, A. started grad school this month, we’ve continued the ttc journey and hoped on the infertility train…and somewhere along the way I put my mind down and forgot to pick it back up. I was trying to do too many things, which has left me feeling totally out of control in all areas.

My brain has been overcrowded with how to manage all the details. If I get a new job we’d have to move, and hopefully buy a house (funny since this baby project has all but depleted our down payment fund). Would I still be able to ttc if I started a new job? As in, have the same flexibility to shoot off for ultrasounds, IUIs, and what ever else? And would a new insurance at a new job provide the stellar IF coverage I have now? And would starting a new job and moving dry my emotional well? I’ve noticed my will to job search wained in the last month. After considering all of this, and really wanting to put ttc first, I’ve decided to stay in my job for another year. I am so relieved after making this decision: we know where we’ll live for at least another year, I don’t have to spend my energy looking for jobs, and above all, I can fully focus on getting pregnant- emotionally and financially.

Life on Clomid has gotten better. The first three days were hard, but I think my body has begun to process what’s going on and I am mostly feeling a lot better. Still have the headaches, and some hot flashes, but over all it’s getting better. Even so, I am glad my last pill will be to night. I have an ultrasound tomorrow and am excited to see how my follies are doing.

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