I told A. that I would not let myself fully attach to the KD idea until we knew it was a definite go ahead.

Of course, on some level, I attached to the idea, but I really tried hard not to. The KD route has blown up on us before.

The ideal KD is done. over. fini. I won’t share the details. I don’t blame our friend one bit.

I will start using frozen sperm again next cycle. A. says she’s done considering KDs. I can’t imagine ever finding one as amazing as the one we just lost. Who knows?

I am tired, sad, and moving on.