Three nights ago I was I really down about trying to get pregnant. It hit me out of no where, and I felt totally hopeless.

The next day, I was still feeling depressed, but not as emotional.

Last night, I got the best gift ever.

Our very good friend is visiting. He’s known about our journey from the beginning, including our awful experience with a known donor (kd). Last night we asked him if he’d ever considered being a kd for us, and with out any hesitation he said, “yes, I’ve thought about, I’d do it for you, and I’d sign the papers” (to terminate his rights). Just like that. He was solid in his response.

I couldn’t help but cry, I was so happy, and really can’t imagine any other kd. He is one of my very best friends. As the conversation progressed, he let us know, he’s already spoken to his mom about how she’d feel if he ever were presented with the opportunity to donate. Her response, “I think it would be great for you.”

So, now we are on the kd route again…he’s going to have all the tests done and we’ll start as soon as possible. This will provide a natural break – I’ve been talking to A. about how I needed a break. I can feel my body responding to the stress and sadness I’ve been feeling, and I don’t want to go into another annovulatory period like I did last spring. We’ll sit out the January cycle and hopefully start up with with the kd in February.