Category Archive

from Mr. E:

Oh, right. I’m a parent now. Expectations of us are different now.

Easter falls one weekend before our nephew’s birthday. His birthday is far more exciting and important to me than Easter, so I told my family we’d be coming for his birthday. In the weeks that followed I picked up on many subtle hints from my mother and SIL suggesting they’d rather we come for Easter. That somehow Easter was more important.

I finally told A about these weird vibes and after talking about it, I felt pretty stupid; of course my parents think it’s important for us to come to Easter, with our son. There’s a whole new set of expectations once you have a kid. So we decided to go. A actually admitted that she likes Easter and she’ll take any chance she can to attend the UU in the town where I grew up. She’s already built a good social network there for when we move.

My family is happy. A is happy. And me? Well, I am happy because I got to splurge on the cutest Easter outfit for Mr. E! Seriously, I didn’t know they made clothes so cute for boys! You’ll have to wait till after Easter for pictures!

It’s a quiet New Year’s Eve in our home this year, and that’s just what I wanted. Each day I tire easier and easier and by afternoon my energy is almost depleted, so going out, in any fashion tonight is out of the question. We’d considered going to the local fireworks, but after returning home this afternoon, and walking through the cold and wind from the car to the house, we decided to put on our pjs and settle in for the night. There’s a pot of chili cooking on the stove and soon corn bread will be baking in the oven. It’s so very quiet here and we are enjoying being. I can’t imagine a better New Year’s Eve for this particular time in our lives.

A posted her year in review. I am far too scattered of a writer to synthesize a whole year in any coherent manner, so I’ve decided not to try. I will say that 2007 will forever be the year we FINALLY achieved our baby dreams. As long as I live, I will always remember the utter shock I experienced on May 15th, 2007 at 4:30am after receiving our first +hpt. It feels like just yesterday that we were standing speechless in the bathroom, staring at the +hpt. We hugged and kissed, and I think we were mostly in disbelief that it was really happening. My pregnancy defined much of the remainder of 2007.

It’s been an amazing journey. 2008 holds much change for us. The biggest, of course, the birth of Moon, but also a career change for A, a move “back home” to plant roots and to raise our kid(s) near family, and me stepping off my career path in search of something new, or maybe just to indulge in a long break from higher education. Eight hours of this year remain and tomorrow we’ll enter Moon’s “due month”, the kicks, turns, and somersaults, I feel as I type will soon be felt on the outside. Our time together will change, and A will, as she said recently, know how Moon is with out having to ask me. I’m ready. I’m ready to meet Moon, to hold him/her on the outside and I am ready for A to hold Moon and continue her bonding process.

2007 was super, but 2008 will be great! (Sorry…I couldn’t resist!)

I wish everyone a happy and safe holiday!

It’s only been four days since Christmas and I have yet to post all about our holiday and by now I am not sure it’s worth posting about. But here goes…

We had a wonderful last holiday with out a baby. We spent four nights at my parents house (despite the uncomfortable bed situation…) and gleaned lots and lots of quality time with our nephews, which is what we were most excited about. Nephew #1 was so much fun this year. He is almost three and it was the first year he “got it.” This, of course put the magic back in the holiday for all of us. I enjoyed visiting with family members one last time before having the baby, and it was special to receive gifts for “baby” and “cousin.” We also hauled home a bunch of hand me down baby gear that our nephews have outgrown (infant car seat, bassinet to keep on our first floor, tons of clothing!). Oh, and while most people we saw think I am having a boy, based on how I am carrying (which I am not sure I buy into), Nephew #1 is certain it’s a girl. I’m still getting the boy vibe.

Christmas was a mellow day for us. We did the traditional present exchange in the morning, with Nephew #1 opening everyone’s presents for them, followed by a big breakfast, and then lots of napping, followed by a big dinner. We don’t do any running around and my parents keep the number of people coming for dinner to a minimum, since our immediate family has grown to six adults and two kids, plus a few more. I have really come to like the smaller gatherings. Everyone is far more relaxed. When I was younger we often had both my father and mother’s siblings and their kids, plus other friends. And I loved it as a kid. Now the more people, the more my parents stress, the less fun it is for everyone…so small has become my preference. This has been balanced by hosting a more casual gathering on Christmas Eve, which A and I took over this year. For me, the night before Christmas is more fun, and filled with anticipation, so I prefer visiting with extended family on Christmas Eve.  All in all, I felt blessed to spend time with so many family and friends over the holiday, and to hold on to moments of my life as I know it, before the baby turns our world upside down.

A and I traveled home the day after Christmas and spent the whole next day running errands before our friend came to visit for two nights (There were lots of errands, but the highlight was getting A a new cell phone, which is way fancy and cool. As she drove us home I was playing with the gadgets on it and found it has a stop watch function. It took me more than a minute before realizing this would be helpful to time contractions as we’ve recently begun to wonder how we’d do that since neither of us own a watch. Cool, eh.) That was the same day I started to come down a cold that is starting to kick my but. It was great to see our friend, so much fun really. And he was super understanding of me feeling under the weather, and also of my pregnant state, but man, was it still exhausting to host. At times I was too tired to talk. As soon as he left this afternoon, I just felt a bit more relaxed. I’ve never felt so exhausted while hosting and it was a good preview for after the baby, and also reinforced the need for boundaries around guests.

A had her last class EVER today! She’s home now, putting all her school stuff away. We don’t go back to work till Wednesday of next week, and then Friday is her last day at her job! She starts student teaching the following Monday! I can’t believe we’re at this transition! I can’t believe we’re about to live on one income! I can’t believe we’re about to have a baby! It’s all happening so fast. Like we’ve been climbing a hill for months on end, and now the avalanche of change is tumbling down.

28 days till my estimated due date. That’s the same amount of time as a normal menstrual cycle. Woe.

Christmas was great as was spending time with family. More on all of that later. I am getting sick now, which is totally pissing me off because our very good friend is heading into town today to stay with us for a few days. We were supposed to tour the hospital today, but I feel too crappy so we’re putting it off for now. Blah!

In the good new department…Cali may be expecting! As we all say a line is a line. And I can’t wait for tomorrow’s beta!

Nephew #2 will have a stocking after all! Given that it does not usually take too long for me knit a Christmas stocking, I sure took a long time to finish this one. Life, it’s just been too busy. But here it is all ready to hang with the rest. I can’t imagine what it will be like to knit our baby’s stocking next year! I better start as soon as we have a name!

For eleven blissful days. I don’t have to go into work tomorrow as I previously thought! I am so excited! And sooooooooooo freaking in need of this break. That’s all I have to say!

I am super busy at work this week, exhaustion has set in and I’ve not kept up on blogging. And I am frantically trying to finish knitting Nephew #2’s Christmas stocking, which I plan to do tonight…and hopefully the finishing decorative touches will happen tomorrow night, right after I go buy the things I need to do the decorative touches (and then we leave town Saturday). And while I am talking about work…we hired a temp to cover my maternity leave! This has been quite a process and I am so glad it’s working out!!!!

Thank you, everyone that has weighed in on names. It’s so fun to hear what you all think. Sorry to be so secretive about the names we are considering. We’re just not cool with putting them out to the internet at large. You’ve given us a lot to think about. Perhaps when the baby is born there will be a password protected post with the first name. Maybe.

I am 35 weeks today. And I feel it. I am just more tired, and move really sloooooooooooow, and get sore easily. Sleeping is getting harder. I am sleeping in longer chunks than I was a few weeks ago, but it’s not deep sleep and I wake to reposition often. My cat INSISTS that the bottom part of the Snoogle pillow, the part that curves tightly to come from your back to between your legs, is her bed. Every time I wake up, she has climbed back in there and I have to move her. I got our Boppy nursing pillow out for her, hoping that would satisfy her, but nooooooo (though the other cat loves it). I think she wants my body heat and the pillow since I currently sleep with the room at about 50 degrees (and I always wake with no covers on, and yes the air conditioner is still in the window - guess we’ll have to remove it before the baby comes, but for now I like it cold).

We met with our favorite midwife yesterday and she confirmed with out a doubt the baby is head down. We’ve thought so for a while, but now we know for sure. Everything else is going well. She seemed a little surprised that we’re traveling for Christmas, but I did ask her a long time ago if it would be okay and she said yes as long as everything is going well. And it is. I would be so very depressed to stay home this Christmas. So we’re going ahead with our plans to travel three hours by car.

Tomorrow begins mine and A’s 11 day vacation! (Sort of, I have to work a few hours Saturday morning…but I’m ignoring this fact). I am ready for the time off. I hope it gives me a chance to catch up and rest. I fear that all the running around I am doing at work these days is going to leave me exhausted when it comes time to actually have this baby. The break will be nice and maybe I will be able to hold onto the vacation feeling until I have the baby. We’ll be at my parent’s from Saturday through Wednesday and then once we return home a very good friend is coming to visit Thursday through the weekend. I don’t think we’ve seen him since we were in our last tww and we wanted one more visit pre-baby. Our New Years plans fell through, but that’s really okay with me. I’d rather not have a plan and just see what happens. When I told A this she said she thinks I am afraid of commitment and can’t believe I married her. Ha ha. I’m not afraid of commitment, it’s just that I don’t really like schedules. And honestly, I am not sure I will have any energy to do anything on New Years.

Okay…I am off to finish knitting the stocking.

I’m gonna pay for this, but today I was motivated and I got a ton of stuff done. My back hurts now and I am sure to be in bed by 8:30 but hell it was worth it for all I got done:

• Cleaned the bathrooms, folded and put away laundry
• Went Christmas shopping - am almost done!
• Sold an item I posted Craigs.list
• Ventured back out with A and went to Sta.ples to buy needed items to organize our files, purchased Christmas gifts for her family, and bought groceries
• Spent two hours, sitting on the floor, sorting through our files. I have at least another hour of sorting and then the fun part - organizing and labeling with my new label maker!
• Wrapped Christmas presents
• Starting to put together box of A’s family’s Christmas and birthday presents to be mailed by Dec. 10th

I’m exhausted. And I don’t want to go back to work tomorrow!

I am unusually happy this holiday season. I don’t say this to imply that I am typically a holiday grouch, but I’ve noticed my outlook this holiday season is so much better than recent years. I am embracing things that usually bother me (Christmas music on the radio already, stores all decorated, etc. Ok, I’ll admit I did make a sarcastic comment about the so-called Wa.r on C.hristmas while at T.arget today…). I am throwing myself into the spirit. No one can ruin this for me. I am h a p p y ! ! ! !

Those reading along at home might be thinking, well no duh you feel happy, you’re pregnant. But would you believe it took me a couple of weeks to figure this out? This is the first holiday season in three years that ttc has not been present. And the last two seasons we’re filled with the ups and downs of: if it worked we can tell family over thanksgiving/christmas dinner. Those tww periods passed with yet another holiday season and no foreseeable child. And it was hard. And at times I felt totally hopeless. Each holiday that passed served as an anniversary-like reminder that we hadn’t achieved our ultimate dream, and as more and more passed, it became harder to believe that dream would ever come true.

This year is different. I feel so full. So blessed. I couldn’t ask for any gift better than what we are about to receive, and all of this is making me fully take in the season we’ve entered. A and I put up our tree today and listened to Christmas music. We talked about how excited we are to spend Christmas with my family and to see our nephews again - and how much fun Nephew #1 will be this year at nearly three years old, he is very interested in Santa for the first time. I love the magical feel of the gatherings that occur at my parents house over the holiday, and the chance to visit with the many family and friends that will pass through over several days. This will also be our last outing before birth (please no early arrival!!). Once we return home we’ll be under “lock down,” staying close to home until Moonbeam enters our world. Clearly this Christmas has an added element of specialness - our last couple Christmas and our last family interactions before we become mothers.

As I type this, I can’t help but think of all my blog friends who continue to struggle, and who may experience the holidays as I have in the past. It’s hard to sit here and go on about how great things are with out thinking about others. My holiday wish is for all those who are trying, hoping, and wishing to become parents, that the new year brings new hope, new possibilities, and new babies.

I am loving today. I am in a place between one crazy week and about to embark on our travels for the holiday. But today, A and I decided to blow off work and just be. Stay home, in our pjs, read, blog, and relax. Work thinks we should go in for half a day, we thought otherwise…and I felt vindicated by the fact that in the last two work days I managed to cross EVERYTHING off my to do list that’s been running since October (it’s amazing what two days with out students can do for my productivity)!

The last week and a half was hectic to put it mildly. As I kept pushing to get through it, I focused on this break, this time of regathering. It’s almost better to have a lazy Wednesday than a lazy Saturday! Tomorrow things will pick up again. We’ll wake early to get on the road and make our way to A’s family’s for Thanksgiving. We’ll spend two nights there and do a bunch of visiting, I am sure. But it’s also usually pretty relaxed. We decided to come home Saturday so we’d have Sunday at home before we go back to work. It’s apparent to me how much we need our down time, and I think in our unconscious we know that time will be limited once the baby comes, so we’re storing it up now.

The last week was filled with so much, and I am not sure how to organize my thoughts around it all. First, we had a going away party for our friends who got on the road this morning with heir moving truck to Ohio. I am still not sure the reality has set in. You know, one of the things I hate about being a grown up is that everyone is mobile. Especially now, many are in the stage before settling down, or moving to settle down, and each time another one leaves, I feel left behind. I am ready to be in a place where people are static. The party on Friday night lead us into all day childbirth class on Saturday and half a day Sunday. I was pleasantly surprised that I liked the teacher. She is a former doula and came highly recommend by our midwives. But I was still skeptical because we were taking the class at a hospital I don’t really like (so happy I am not having Moon there). It turned out to be a worthwhile endeavor. We met another couple that live about ten minutes from us and we all seemed interested in keeping in touch, so we’ll see where that goes. I imagine it could be nice to have someone to call up and hang out with when home on maternity through the dreary winter! Sunday morning we had brunch with the Parker Martins. It was so much fun! The twins are so cute and well natured. It was great to talk to their moms in person and connect as we begin to navigate defining our families while sharing the same donor.  And they gave a bunch of really great hand-me-downs!

No wonder we needed today to settle in…we’ve said goodbye to dear friends, hello to new friends, learned all about the birthing process and are gearing up to greet the holiday season.

A. and I returned home today after five nights at my parents house. We had a lovely holiday and spent lots of quality time with family and friends. Our nephew continues to amaze me, and just gets cuter every time I see him. We kept him home from day care yesterday and got to play with him all day. We did miss the quite of our own home and
sleeping late!

Christmas was fun. It began when my brother, SIL, and nephew arrived at my parents house at 7:30am! We slowly opened presents (I got the iPod I wanted!!!!, thank you A.), then had a big breakfast. After that there was much running around before my father’s entire family arrived at 3. The day went fast, but was really a lot of fun.

I’m sure there are stories to post, but I am so tired and really not in the mood to recount them. A. and I are on vacation until the 2nd. I am hoping to apply to several jobs and we are going car shopping. We need to buy a new car - I am very excited and also quite nervous about adding another payment to the mix. After doing a lot of research I think we are exclusively looking at the Mazda 5 (although I am dying to test drive a Honda Element). We need a bigger car (we currently share one car, a Subaru Impreza wagon). While we do love our little Subaru, it is not practical for all the traveling we do. We’re always packed in, and we don’t want another all wheel drive vehicle. They are not good on gas and the maintenance is a pain in the butt! The Mazda 5 is a family car, and maybe some day we’ll have a family to put in it, but in the mean time it will give us the extra room we need (plus our two cats) for our many long distance travels. We’ve found ourselves in the market to buy a second car because A. is going to grad school next semester and it will be nearly impossible for us to negotiate sharing a car– although it’s been really great being a one car family for the last two and a half years!

In other, and more important news, we are also starting to think about pursuing foster care. I am still going to try to get pregnant and am becoming more open to some fertility assistance, but in the mean time I think I really want us to become foster parents. I went on line tonight to try to learn about the process, but it there really wasn’t a whole lot of information
available.

So that’s our last five days in a nutshell…

Oh, and a BIG HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to Jen and Gretch! Finally, one of my TWW buddies are pregnant!

I am at work now and had grand plans of getting a bunch of stuff done before I leave at noon. I was productive and got what I HAD to do done in an hour and since then I’ve been wasting my time. So instead of writing 11 evaluations I am playing on line. Oh well, that’s what the first week of January is for, right?

Not too long from now, we’ll be in my parents cozy home, and getting lots of nephew time! It’s been a few days since he’s called me. The last time we visited, he saw the car pull into the driveway he stood in the door jumping up and down yelling “Auntie, aunite!” He melts my heart. I love that even though we see him about one weekend a month, he knows who we are and really loves us. I can’t wait to see him on Chirstmas morning this year. He’s still too young to “get it” but he will know something is going on and I imagine he’ll be quite funny.

It’s taken us several years, but I think we’ve finally gotten my mother to scale Christmas way down. It used to be present explosion. And we all would spend way too much money. Three years ago my grandfather died five days before Christmas and that year was crazy because we burried him on the 23rd. This brought lots of family to town, and while still mourning we tried to figure out how to have Christmas. It just didn’t seem right that five days after he died, we’d celebrate, open presents, and be jolly. The whole thing was a bit of a blur. I just remember days of people at our house, never ending food, rivers of tears, and endless bottles of wine. At one point on Chrsitmas morning my mother was so upset while we were sitting on the couch together. I held her like a child while she wailed. Next to her crying at the funeral home saying she didn’t want to say good bye, this is my sadest memory of that Christmas. The next year my mother was still really depressed from his death and tried to overcompesate by buying a ton of stuff, hosting three Christmas dinners in three consecutive days, while super moody. That year ended in us having one of our worst fights ever. Last year was a bit better. We scaled down the gifts and she was starting to get her holiday spirit back — I think the birth of the first grandchild earlier that year helped. We also planned to have a small dinner with just the seven of us, and then invited family for dessert—this also helped to keep things managable. This year we picked names and only have to buy one present, plus gifts for our partners (and of course for the boy too)! The dinner will be a little larger but, it will be fine. A. and I are going to the UU church with with my aunt in my hometown on Christmas Eve, which has become a tradition for us.

I hope those of you traveling for holiday celebrations are met with good weather and exciting journies. Peace and joy to you.

Well we’re on to cycle number 17, and unlike a few days ago, I am up for the challenge.

What’s good about not being pregnant? Well, I can go in my parent’s new hot tub while visiting for Christmas. I can enjoy a beverage or two over the holidays. I’ve bought a little time in the job serach.

What sucks about not being pregnant? You all know, so I won’t bore you.

A. and I are working a half day tomorrow and then we are leaving for the Cape to enjoy a relaxing (a gal can dream) vacation and Christmas. We plan to come home mid week next week to enjoy the rest of our vacation and don’t go back to work until January 2nd. I am soo ready and soooooo in need of this vacation. Maybe the relaxation will get my body ready to accept the next round of sperm, round about the first week of January.

Well we “decorated” for Christmas tonight. This entails pulling out our very tiny FAKE tree, how I wish we could have a real one- A and I have only had a real tree once, it was six years ago. The needles made a huge mess and our cats ruined most of our ornaments, the ornaments my mother had been collecting for me since I was a kid. We’ve got the Christmas music playing and I am trying to get into the spirit of this season. Usually I love Christmas, but this year it’s coming too soon and global warming makes me think it’s October.

And one of our cats has not vacated the corner since we pulled it out…

It was just another day.

I woke at 6:30am and dreaded getting up for work, only to realize it was Saturday, and I could sleep in! And that I did, I fell back to a comma sleep until 9ish.

When I woke, I was immediately thankful that I did not get paged last night, only to find out minutes later, I was needed but the office that sends out the page screwed up again and did not know who was on call. On the bright side, this saved me from getting woken up at 4am!

At the same time I was learning this, the realtor called. The condo owner had a counter offer. It did not seem like something we could work with. We came to realize there is no reason to rush into homeownership. We have to be where we are until June at least, and if I get pregnant, I will likely stay in my job due to maternity benefits and then jump ship at the end of the 08 academic year. I called our realtor back and told here there’s no counter offer, we’re out. She was shocked. We felt really great once we decided to back off and just save money for now. This real-estate thing is whacked! I mean why do both parties need a go between. Why can’t we just sit down and talk it out?

Then we went grocery shopping for our Thanksgiving dinner. Stop & Shop was far less crowded than I thought it would be and we got through there fairly easily. Whole Foods on the other hand was a whole different story. That place is always crazy, and the Saturday before turkey day is only worse! We got out as soon as we could, and were exhausted by the time we were done.

I wanted to start prepping as much as I could, but when I looked at what we’re making all I could do was make bread for the stuffing- it needs to be stale when I make the stuffing. I made a loaf of garlic and herb bread. I really hope our guests like garlic, because just about every dish has garlic in it - we have at least 9 bulbs of garlic for this meal. Is that a problem? It’s too early to prep anything else. I think I will peel, cut and cook the sugar pumpkins on Tuesday so that the pie filling is ready to go. Everything else will have to be done on Wednesday and Thursday.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading blogs today. We’re having a quiet night. Tomorrow more house hold stuff…cleaning, hemming…I sound like a fucking 1950s housewife!

Meanwhile, I am 8 dpo today. No real change in what’s going on in my body, other than my breasts becoming very itchy. A. thinks this cycle is a bust, and I think I do too. But I am holding on to some hope. My temperature did go up today

Today marks five days past ovulation, with an 11 day luteal phase, I am about half way to knowing if I am knocked up or if it’s on to another cycle.

I have no PMS signs, nor any pregnancy signs. When I am approaching a period, it’s natural for me to start having dull cramps and sore breasts from this point on. I go back and fourth about how I feel about this cycle. The first three days I was sure this was the one. Yesterday I was convinced it did not work, and today I am back to cautious optimism. I can’t, I won’t let myself get too excited. I always safeguard by telling myself it did not work, and then one day when it does, well that will be an amazing day!

Time goes so slooooooow when waiting for the two week wait to pass. We’re lucky this time that we’ve been busy trying to buy a condo and planning our Thanksgiving feast. What will we do if there is a next time?
But seriously we did sit down last night to plan our Thanksgiving dinner. We’re having both of our parents, A.’s siblings, our international host student (from Nepal), my best friend, and a co-worker - eleven at last count….and I’m sure we’ll take any other stragglers we come in contact with between now and next Thursday! This is the first time we’ve ever hosted a holiday dinner and that makes it a little scary, but at the same time everyone should understand that this is our first time, so it’s okay if we mess up, right? Hey worst (best) case scenario, we serve up a positive hpt and go out to dinner! But seriously, here’s what we’ve planned:
Turkey, with gravy, cranberry sauce, and suasgae herbed stuffing
Amy’s butternut squash surprise (aka - I have no idea what she’s making)
Marinated asparagus
Bread with roasted garlic bulbs and garlic butter
Garlic herbed mashed potatoes
Boiled onions (this is for my crazy mother)
Maple Nut Hubbard squash
Pumpkin pie and Apple Cobbler

We’re making everything from scratch and mostly using vegetables from our farm share (except the turkey, that is coming precooked from our local farm stand- turkeys are too gross for either A. or I to touch, let alone cook). We may have taken on too much, but hey it’s worth a try. I don’t usually cook - as in never, I bake, and I believe in doing it all from scratch, so that has spilled over into our menu. I am not sure how to manage cooking all these things, simultaneously and getting them on the table for 3pm. But again, as a beginner, they should be patient with me. And if I am not prego, there will be a good deal of wine involved, which will make it soooo much easier!

It should be fun, well at least entertaining. And the next day I have to get in the car and drive three hours to my high school reunion…that is a whole other post for another day.

What are you doing for thanksgiving?

It’s a new year. Funny how one day does not feel different from the last, and yet there is so much hoopla about the change.

Our night out was fun. We planned to go to a very shi-shi bar/restaurant for wine before dinner, but when we got there, they had closed down—some time between the saturday before Christmas and New Year’s Eve. And they served the best Pinot Noir I’ve ever tasted! We went to an old favorite for a drink and then moved on to dinner. A. has been coming down with a cold for a few days (we were around a bunch of sick people at Christmas). So she was a little under the weather, but insisted on going out, and concealed how ill she really was. Dinner was great and we headed home close to 9. It was snowing- which added a festive feel, but the weather combined with A. not feeling well made us think we should go home and enjoy some champagne. We toasted the new year and wished for miracles, and were in bed by 11:30pm. I think this is the first year I’ve been in bed before the new year since I was old enough to stay up till midnight. I was happy though- I’d had a great night with the woman I love and was happy to snuggle up in bed and nod off to sleep.

While we were out we took turns sharing the best parts of 2005. Here is the list we compiled:

• February - A. gave me a diamond ring I’d wanted for ever.
• April - We became Aunties to the most wonderful little nephew.
• June - We celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary.
• June/July - We took a two week trip to Alaska to visit family and friends and toured the Last Frontier.
• July - Summer off from work and many lazy days at the beach on Cape Cod.
• August - More time on Cape Cod.
• September - We paid off our credit card debt! Probably our greatest success of 2005!!
• September - A. traveled to India - a dream of hers.
• October - We bought sperm and were almost ready to start trying have a baby.
• November - We officially started trying to conceive.
• December - An amazing known donor entered our lives and our TTC plans were changed for the better.
• There were no deaths in our families. As I said this one, I knocked on wood, since the year was not out yet, but we made it and that is amazing given that since 2001 we’ve experienced tremendous loss.

We’re really not resolution kind of gals, but we are excited to enter 2006, with a vision for our future and a plan to achieve it. Each year together gets better and better. We are so blessed to have each other.

Happy 2006 to everyone!

We’ve been home for two days now. I tired to blog but after being away for a week I am paralyzed by what to write and how to condense it. So here goes:

The best things about our Christmas vacation:

• Spending time with our 8 1/2 month old nephew (who took SEVEN steps just before Christmas)
• Attending a candle light Christmas Eve service at the UU church where we were married
• Quality time with family and friends
• Wine and tea and good company
• Meeting for dinner with our known donor!!!!! (more on that later)
• We are still on vacation until Tuesday, Jan. 3

The not so good things about our vacation:

• Babies cry in the middle of the night. Okay, but this baby’s parents get up talk, laugh and wake everyone up—four nights of interrupted sleep makes me grumpy!
• Learning the minister that married us is leaving the church where he married us
• We did not have any snow
• I ate too much

That pretty much sums up our week away. It really was great. One of the best Christmases, if not the best. We didn’t over do it on the presents and really tried to focus on the family. (haha.) Dinner with our KD was excellent. We’ve all agreed to go forward. He’s getting all the STD tests and semen analysis and we’ve contacted a lawyer to draw up our contract. If the test are back in time, well inseminate in late January.

A. and I have been enjoying this time off. Tonight we are going to a fancy pants dinner- just the two of us to celebrate the new year. Oh, and we’ll be toasting the new year with our new crystal Tiffany champagne flutes - a gift from my Uncle. I’ll be toasting to a new year, a new start to baby making, and hoping for a little miracle. 2006 will be a great year, I just know it.

A. and I decided to bail out of work early today and leave a day early! Everyone that is traveling to my parents has arrived or is getting there today, so I couldn’t stand to wait another night.

Last night we spent a good five hours trying to get ready to leave this afternoon. I had lots of crafting left to do and still have one or two hats to knit. But just about everything is wrapped and packed and our bags are packed. All we have to do is get the cats’ stuff packed up and we’ll be ready to go! I don’t know what we’ll do when we are traveling with children. As it is now we have three suitcases (the largest one is packed only with presents), a duffel bag, my knitting bag, two cat carriers, and some assorted essentials (foods, teas, etc.). Our little Subaru is going to be packed. Where would we put a kid?

I am going to go into work and get the small stuff I need to get done and leave as soon as possible. I really don’t have much to do so I’d end up knitting if I stayed there. I can’t believe this vacation is finally here! We are getting away from work and have no real plans to speak of. I am so glad we are not TTC this month, other wise we’d be having to orchestrate that at my parent’s house over Christmas. Ugh! They are cool, but not that cool.

This will likely be my last post until we get home, so happy holidays to all of you. I hope laughter and love surrounds you. Peace.

…until my Winter break begins and we can get out of here!

Friday begins a 10 day vacation for A. and I. I need it. We’ll leave Friday morning to go to my parent’s house. I can’t wait to get away and to leave the recent events behind. I want to cuddle up at my parent’s house in front of the fire, sipping wine or Baileys, while surrounded by my favorite family members. I want to be in the kitchen *helping* cook the varieties of food we’ll serve up, and I want to attempt for the 3rd or 4th time to bake a chocolate silk pie, my Dad’s favorite. And just when we are reaching our limit for being with family, we’ll come home and enjoy several quiet, relaxing days at home, just the two of us. From there we’ll travel to a friend’s for New Year’s for what is sure to be more fun than I am ready for.

I wish it could start now.

Last Friday we had snow that messed up our plans. This Friday it’s snow/ice/rain. A. and I are supposed to go visit her family in Maine this weekend to celebrate Christmas with them. Her big extended family Christmas party is tomorrow. And it looks like we won’t be able to get on the road till tomorrow. The lovely freezing rain will end here in the afternoon but if we leave then we’ll just be traveling with the northward bound storm.

The only good thing we get from this weather is time off from work- last Friday we got the entire day and today we have a delayed start, so I am typing in my pjs and am about to go make a cup of tea and knit.

A new holiday season is at our doorstep, ringing the doorbell…A. and I planned to ignore the bell this year, but our family had different plans for us…

We do sooooooooooooo much driving this time of year (A.’s family is 5 hours away, mine is 3 hours away…we normally go to her’s for TGiving, then back three weeks later for an early Xmas and then home for a few days, and then to my family’s for Xmas). Last year the driving made us crazy (okay there may have been other things that made us crazy as well). So we came up with a brilliant plan to avoid Thanksgiving. Way back in August I agreed to be on-call for work during Thanksgiving week. I can not travel when I am on-call, so it was perfect, we’d stay at home and have a nice holiday with just the two of us (something we’ve never done).

Our plan backfired. A. broke the news to her mom in September or October that we were not coming for the holiday. We think she was upset about it. Then several weeks ago my mom felt bad that we’d be alone, and invited herself and my father to come to us. That was okay. We were certainly okay being alone (even more so now since insemination time is upon us). But what ever. They planned to come here the morning of Thanksgiving and leave the next day and we would of course go out to dinner. So we were okay with that, low stress, one night, no big deal. Then A. was talking to her mom and her mom was shaky on their plans and really seemed to want to see us. So A. threw out the offer to for them to come to us - never thinking she’d bite. She did. So now we have my parents, her parents and her two teenage siblings coming to our place. All of this is really okay. The two families get along just fine and my mom is excited to see A.’s family (they have not seen each other since our wedding in June 04).

A. is more freaked out than I. But that’s probably because in general her family stresses her out more than mine does me. There are more of them and half of them are teenagers! Ewww. But we are going with our plan and going out to eat. It would be a sad dinner if we cooked! A. is vegetarian and I don’t cook. So there’d be no turkey and honestly our families are such picky eaters that they would not like the wonderful food A. would cook.

Her family will descend on us today and mine tomorrow. They’re all getting the boot on Friday. A. is heading to Boston to pick up our sperm and then we’re going to get busy. So the visit will be short lived and all we really have to do is get some food to have around for snacks and dessert.

So much for our plan, but at least we got out of traveling! And that is a good thing since we are supposed to get SNOW! The first snow fall of the season.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving?