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Bear with me here, this is going to be all over the place.
Last mother’s day I was just days away from getting our BFP. And I was convinced it hadn’t worked. I tried as hard as I could not to let it show when I called to wish my mother a happy mother’s day, but in the end that called ended in me sobbing and her telling me, it will work. some day. you’ll be a mother. I had a hard time carrying that faith, so I let her carry it for me.
Today we went to church and it had already been kind of an emotional day. It’s a happy day for us. But it’s also a day when I remember the women who are gone. My grandmothers. And I think of A’s mom and how she’s on the front lines of her cancer battle. And I think of my cousin, who is nearing the end of her 7th TWW (and I’m praying it turns into a 9 month wait). And I am thinking about all of my blog friends yearning to become mothers. Some who started before us, other who started after. And I think of all the women I don’t know who are struggling with infertility. I think of the couple who live at the end of our street, a street that is home to 18 kids. They are both infertile.
I want to overflow with happiness today, but it’s hard when I know how much pain exists around mothering. I was comforted when the minister wished a happy mother’s day in all forms, including to those yearning to become mothers, those missing mothers and so on.
I wasn’t going to post today or about mother’s day, because I really don’t want to rub salt into my blog friends’ wounds who carry pain around TTC. But as the day passed, I realized I wanted to write. I wanted to express my support for those in pain or frustrated with TTC. Even though we were blessed with Mr. E, and we’ve moved into a whole new world of mothering, I still pray for each and everyone one of you to get your BFPs and I get frustrated with “oops we’re pregnant” stories and I get mad when others can do it so easily when I know so many of you who have tried so hard. for so long.
S & E are going through some really scary shit right now. No mother should spend the first days of their child’s life in such panic and fear. It’s just not fair.
28 days till my estimated due date. That’s the same amount of time as a normal menstrual cycle. Woe.
Christmas was great as was spending time with family. More on all of that later. I am getting sick now, which is totally pissing me off because our very good friend is heading into town today to stay with us for a few days. We were supposed to tour the hospital today, but I feel too crappy so we’re putting it off for now. Blah!
In the good new department…Cali may be expecting! As we all say a line is a line. And I can’t wait for tomorrow’s beta!
We’re having a snow day here! And Flipper was born this morning! Welcome to the World little one!
I am loving today. I am in a place between one crazy week and about to embark on our travels for the holiday. But today, A and I decided to blow off work and just be. Stay home, in our pjs, read, blog, and relax. Work thinks we should go in for half a day, we thought otherwise…and I felt vindicated by the fact that in the last two work days I managed to cross EVERYTHING off my to do list that’s been running since October (it’s amazing what two days with out students can do for my productivity)!
The last week and a half was hectic to put it mildly. As I kept pushing to get through it, I focused on this break, this time of regathering. It’s almost better to have a lazy Wednesday than a lazy Saturday! Tomorrow things will pick up again. We’ll wake early to get on the road and make our way to A’s family’s for Thanksgiving. We’ll spend two nights there and do a bunch of visiting, I am sure. But it’s also usually pretty relaxed. We decided to come home Saturday so we’d have Sunday at home before we go back to work. It’s apparent to me how much we need our down time, and I think in our unconscious we know that time will be limited once the baby comes, so we’re storing it up now.
The last week was filled with so much, and I am not sure how to organize my thoughts around it all. First, we had a going away party for our friends who got on the road this morning with heir moving truck to Ohio. I am still not sure the reality has set in. You know, one of the things I hate about being a grown up is that everyone is mobile. Especially now, many are in the stage before settling down, or moving to settle down, and each time another one leaves, I feel left behind. I am ready to be in a place where people are static. The party on Friday night lead us into all day childbirth class on Saturday and half a day Sunday. I was pleasantly surprised that I liked the teacher. She is a former doula and came highly recommend by our midwives. But I was still skeptical because we were taking the class at a hospital I don’t really like (so happy I am not having Moon there). It turned out to be a worthwhile endeavor. We met another couple that live about ten minutes from us and we all seemed interested in keeping in touch, so we’ll see where that goes. I imagine it could be nice to have someone to call up and hang out with when home on maternity through the dreary winter! Sunday morning we had brunch with the Parker Martins. It was so much fun! The twins are so cute and well natured. It was great to talk to their moms in person and connect as we begin to navigate defining our families while sharing the same donor. And they gave a bunch of really great hand-me-downs!
No wonder we needed today to settle in…we’ve said goodbye to dear friends, hello to new friends, learned all about the birthing process and are gearing up to greet the holiday season.
So many lurkers have delurked lately! It’s so cool! Anyone else want to delurk?
Here are some answers to questions posed in the comments of my last post:
Jen asked how we became acquainted with the Parker Martins?
Some time last year Chris, and I connected over Fertility Friend. It must have been in the TTC with Donor Sperm chat circle. I really don’t remember what initially brought us together but we began private messaging through FF. She realized she had gone to school where I live now so we connected about the area and how much we love it. At that time she informed me that she and her partner, Penny, had a vial of sperm left over they were looking to sell (the fact that we were using the same bank made the offer tempting). We had a bunch of sperm in storage at the time so I passed on buying it.
Months later Chris contacted me again to say they needed to get rid of the vial because they were still paying storage and she hated to just see it get destroyed. At the same time we were gearing up for another sperm purchase as we’d used up all ours. I made her an offer for the one vial and intended to also purchase more of the same donor from the bank. There was a catch. Their vial had been moved into storage off site from the bank and even though they lived near the bank at the time, and would have brought it there and had them ship it with the additional vials I’d buy, the bank refused to ship it. Chris spent a lot of energy researching ways to ship the vial across the country to us. But in the end it was going to cost a ridiculous amount of money. So we had to call off our deal (I could have flown to California and paid for an IUI for less than the cost of the shipping of the one vial). By then we’d looked into the donor and were onto at least our fourth donor, and really all we wanted was proof that the next donor could work. Chris and Penny offered us proof with their two babies! So we went ahead and bought a bunch of the same donor. First try with him and I was pregnant. Thanks in part to fertility drugs, I am sure.
Since meeting on Fertility Friend we’ve kept up through our blogs, but more so through email. We’re really excited to have this connection. A and I were the tenth family to conceive with this donor, so by law, we closed him out. I imagine if we registered our pregnancy on the donor sibling registry we’d be able to connect with more families. I’m not sure that we’ve made a decision if we’ll register or not. I guess you could say we created this connection by using the same donor, but hey, whatever works, right?
Shiba asked how we picked our donor and if we ever switched?
I guess what I wrote above gets to most of this but let me fill in what came before the donor that worked. We first started with a sperm bank in New England. It was close to home and made it a little more affordable. We only used one donor from that bank and moved on when it did not work. Picking our donor the first time however, was painstaking. We spent hours reading profiles and talking about the different donors.
Next we moved to a known donor. We tried once with him. It did not work, and our deal feel apart. So we were back to looking at frozen options. We took that opportunity to look into different sperm banks. A was pulled to the Sperm Bank of California because they are the only non-profit sperm bank and they offered a good number of identity release sperm (donor agrees to at least one contact when the child turns 18). We spent some time, although not as much as the first time, reviewing profiles and finally found a donor we both felt good about. Several IUIs later, we needed more sperm…and that’s when we bought the same donor Chris and Penny used. As I said above, I got pregnant the first try with that donor, so we ordered even more of him. We now have five vials on ice for child #2 (there was a time when I wanted three or four kids…and now I can barely imagine being pregnant one more time!). In general, I think switching up sperm can be a really good thing. Some people say only try three times with the same donor, I don’t think I’d try more than six cycles with the same. You just never know what will work.
Observations from today:
- Bowling while seven months pregnant is not the smartest thing to do. It was fun, but I didn’t realize how careful I would need to be, or how heavy the balls are, or how much your body twists while bowling. But I won.
- Moon is hiccuping for the first time (that I’ve noticed). Ok, A noticed it when I told her to come feel because the baby was moving a lot. She’s the smmmmmmart one. Wow. hiccups are cool.
Oh…and I am 30, that’s THIRTY weeks today! Holy crap! This baby really is coming soon!
To S & C. I am so happy for both of you. So very happy!
For more than two years I have come here to spill my guts about ttc and now pregnancy. The early days where filled with other bloggers giving me tips and support as we started this journey and then as things got emotionally rough, you all cheered me on. BFN after BFN, you all were the ones that would give me a good deal of what it took to keep on going. Your support and education have benefited us in more ways than I can begin to explain and I know the journey would have been far more difficult (and lonely) if it where not for you, the on-line community of support that I have come to depend on.
We’re all extremely free with our words of support through comments, emails, and phone calls. We pull together and send support when it’s needed. And today one of our friends needs more than our kind words. She needs us to pony up some money, now, in order to save her already in progress IVF cycle. I am just one in a long line of bloggers to put a call out for everyone to donate what ever you can - no matter how much or little. You can visit any number of links to learn Cali’s story. But be sure to visit this link and show her your love.
Today I am home from work for what I am calling a physical health day. You’ve heard of mental health days? Well today I am home taking care of my pregnant self because I stupidly over did it yesterday. I don’t regret our decision to travel into NYC for the day to catch up with and meet so many of our fellow blog buddies, but if I had it to do again, I would do it differently. Pre-pregnancy I was a go go go go go go type of person. I could push and push and do ridiculous things (like spend 11 hours in a car in one day). You could also call this stubbornness. But now that I am growing a human and have physical needs, not to mention nutritional needs, I just can’t keep that pace. And when I try to keep my old pace, I end up as I was this morning, feeling hung over and run over by a truck, and certainly not capable of going to work and being productive. So I emailed in sick.
We did have a really great time in the City yesterday. We also learned it’s not a day trip. This was only my third time ever to NYC! I’ve never been a big fan of cities - they are too big and overwhelming to me. Yesterday it was really nice to be in the company of so many folks who knew their way around, which made the whole experience so much easier and fun.
We’ve meet several of our blog friends in the past, but I’ve never met so many at once or gathered with that many at once. It was so wonderful to sit and talk in person to people I’ve been talking to on-line for two plus year and to meet some new folks (my bloglines has already been updated…). It was so comfortable and I felt like I already knew these people and yet, in most cases, it was only our first meeting. I wish we had been able to spend more time together. The suggestion that we rent out a floor at a hotel for the weekend next year was genius…(not sure who to credit here) but I second the motion.
On to other ramblings about my life (sometimes I am amazed people read my blog). You’ve read me bitch a lot lately about people always leaving this area for greener pastures and most recently about how we too will jump on that band wagon. Well today another good friend bites the dust. He’ll be moved out of here in two to three weeks. He’s moving on to a truly amazing opportunity that would never present itself here and that will position he and his wife to move forward in creating their family. But he is probably my closet friend here, and just another in a long line of close friends to leave. I am sad he won’t be around for Moon’s arrival. And sad in general that he’ll be gone. I am so happy for him though.
Now I am off to try to be semi productive since I am at home and there are lots of house hold things I could be doing…
A huge congratulations to we are fambly! They got the best news today and since it’s October now this means they’re having a Junebug. I may be biased but I think June is the best month to be born!
Yeah, congrats, hugs, and very sticky vibes!!!!!!!
Um, we’ve got 200 days to go. We’re almost 1/3 of the way. This is all happening so fast. Woe. (Well since I got distracted and was not able to post this yesterday, now we’ve got 199 days!)
Also, I met baby August last week. She was so small and so precious! While I was holding her she had her eyes open and was looking all around. She seemed very engaged. Once A. started holding her she fell off to sleep. Both moms looked great and seemed to be transitioning into motherhood seamlessly.
Congratulations Jen and Jude and welcome baby August!
I can’t believe she is here! A. was able to meet her in the hospital yesterday and she said she is just the most precious baby.
Sorry for the radio silence. I am stuck between a place where I don’t want to alienate people by only writing about my pregnancy and feeling so sick that I don’t have the energy to write…
Things were going just fine up until about a week ago, and then the morning sickness (and that’s a big joke, cause it’s all day) kicked in. I went from eating everything in sight to not being able to eat. And I am soooo hungry, but everything makes me nauseous, well everything except toast and saltines. And I have to plan my day around my naps.
I am a blubbering, hungry, pregnant mess.
A. has been so unbelievably understanding. She is doing so much for me and us. I am so tired that I can’t do simple things around the house anymore, and she’s doing nearly everything. Last night she cooked one of my favorite summer dinners. I took two bites and my stomach turned. How’s that for gratitude? Even worse - today I had to ask her to cancel our reservation at our favorite inn that she had booked for my birthday this weekend. We’d planned to attend her brother’s graduation Friday and then leave Saturday to spend two nights at our inn. But given how horrible I feel, I don’t want to go. And I know all the driving will make me more sick.
And now she’s out buying me motion sickness wrist bands and anything bland she can find at Whole Foods in hopes that I will be able to eat real food tonight! I tell you, the first trimester is hell! That said, we are both very excited to have our first midwife appointment this Friday. I am not sure what to expect. We have a list of questions going. Any suggestions on what we should be asking?
……..
I did manage to have a blast at blog bash (although I was fading towards the end, sorry). It was fun to meet new people. And to get hang out with everyone. I think we should do it more often! I am always game for meeting bloggers so if you’re passing through these parts drop me an email or comment.
That’s really all I have. I promise that some day soon I will compose an intelligent post that has nothing to do with pregnancy.
Today is the Western MA blog bash (which ranges from Maine to New York!). I am so excited to meet new blog friends and catch up with other blog friends I’ve already meet IRL.
We’ve been planning this for a really long time, and as I sat at my desk at work yesterday I realized that in 24 hours I’d be connecting with friends I’ve only known on-line- friends I’ve shared more about this journey with than most of my family and friends. I began to think about how strange blogging is - we pour many of our deepest and often darkest thoughts out and then publish them for anyone with internet access to read. When I started blogging I was a little leery of this. The unexpected support and friendships that I’ve developed - all over the world - was a surprise to me, and something I’ve come to rely on as I struggled through ttc and now surviving this pregnancy. I am sure I will look to fellow bloggers for support once the baby arrives - although I will undoubtedly have less time to blog…
I am excited and nervous to meet these people, the folks who’ve read all the intimate details of our journey. Each time I meet a fellow blog friend there is a strange and yet comfortable feeling, knowing they know you, how you present in your most raw form, and still they want to know you more.
Congratulations to Maeby and True!
*Note: you have to click on the photo link at the bottom of the post to see the good news.
Charlotte and S got the worst possible news yesterday. Please send them love and support.
Holy shit…there are so many of us just entering the tww. At last count here are all the cycle sisters:
Any one else? Maybe our combined fertility and the spring time will work some magic. Good luck, friends!
p.s. part of my dream has come true…said good friend called last night to say he was on his way to visit for the weekend! We’re going to Pride together today!
I am trying to figure out the password protected feature, and have a post that will be protected. If you want the password, please comment or email me at elm610 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you are not a regular commenter, and I do not know you, please let me know a little about who you are so I know who I am sending this info to.
Dear Blogger Friends,
I met many of you when I started blogging back in 2005 and was using Blogger (well it was Blogspot then, but that is beside the point). Blogger was great for a while and then Beta Blogger came along, annoyed the hell out of us, and many of us made a mass exodus over to WordPress. But not everyone moved, which means I still have blog friends living at Blogger and of course I want to continue reading and commenting on your blogs, but in order to do so I have to:
- enter my my user name and URL
- fill out the freaking ‘word verification’ which is just really annoying!
I don’t know why this irritates me so much, but it does. So won’t you please move to WordPress. It’s really easy and a lot more fun over here.
Please?
Love,
E.
Round ‘em up and go congratulate Charlotte. After ten tries Dosmamas are preggo!
Last week one of my FF friends offered to sell us one vial she and her partner had left in storage. They don’t need the vial because they are about to have twins! A. and I looked at their donor on-line (they use the same bank as us). He seemed very funny and his personality sounded an awful lot like A. We both laughed at his reply to why he became a sperm donor:
I first came in to pick up some supplemental income, but was convinced of what a valuable service it was for people ready and capable of having children who couldn’t physically do so. Which is a good thing, because I found out it’s not a great way to make a lot of money.
Thanks to Chris we didn’t have to spend any time at all laboring over the donor catalog and we know this guy works! So we’re onto our fourth sperm donor and will try for our eighth cycle soon (21st charting cycle).
In other it’s a small world news, my cousin found me on FF today! I am so excited for them to be starting.
And totally unrelated - it’s SNOWING here, with the eff?
p.s. Photo Friday picture is up, just didn’t do a post for it. Yah, I’m lazy this weekend, so what?
A while back I posted about a Western MA blog friend gathering, now re-named BlogBash ‘07. We’ve set the date for the weekend of June 2nd and 3rd, but have not solidified which day or any of our plans. We’ve got folks driving in from as far as Portland, ME and “Somewhere”, NY. Won’t you join us? Just email me: 2momsrbetterthan1 (at) myway (dot) com and I’ll add you to the email list. Western MA is beautiful and just warm enough in June. See you in June!
I know I’ve brought this up before and then recently promised to follow up…well this is me following up. Friends from near and far are welcome.
I have two weekends to propose: June 2 and 3 or May 26 and 27 (Memorial Day Weekend). My vote goes to June 2/3 weekend.
Let the voting begin!
Won’t you go on over to these folks and give them a shout out, they are PREGNANT!
I need five more people to play in the great sock exchange! I know you are tempted…so just go ahead and email me to let me know you want to play. If you don’t I’m going to start sending emails…that’s how Lo got me to play…
I don’t usually do chain letters. And I think I’ve turned this one down before…but Lo convinced me it may be fun (and led by asking blogfriends to participate, what a great idea!), and really what do I have to lose? If you want to participate in a great sock exchange, email me (2momsrbetterthan1 (at) myway (dot) com). I need six people…I’m anxiously awaiting your emails!!!
A. left early this morning to take the first of three MTEL tests for teacher certification then had to go straight to class until 6:30. 
When I woke at 6am to take my bbt, my cat, the one that sleeps on me, started purring. I think it’s messed up that she knows the sound of the thermometer being turned on and knows it means I am awake, which excites her to no end!
I left early this morning to drive down to Springfield to pick up our baby juice. One vial. That’s it. Lefty is taking her time before making her grand entrance. I had a high reading on the monitor today and I still feel crampy pain near my left ovary. At this point we’re looking at Sunday evening or Monday, but will know more after tonight’s opk.
Western MA and Beyond Partay! I am so glad some of you are interested and it’s not too late to join in. Would a dinner after Noho Pride work? It conflicts with my on-call schedule, but if it’s good for other folks and would draw those from far away, I may be able to switch or just have someone cover me for the time we are getting together.
My drive this morning was really pretty and it inspired me to take a walk when I got home. I brought my camera along. I got some really great photos. You can seem them by clicking on my Flickr icon at the bottom of this page. The fog made for a nice background. And I saw the first maple sugar tap of the season. This always makes me think spring is just around the corner!
I know there are lots of you out there, living and blogging in Western MA and the surrounding areas, and some of you who like to visit here (so anyone who wants to travel is welcome!!!). So how about meeting up? I’d love to organize a gathering of anyone who wants to get together. In recent months I’ve had a chance to meet some really cool people through blogging. So what do you say? Should we start with a date?
Welcome to the World, Riley Elizabeth!
Jude and Jennifer need all the positive energy you can send. Do it now!
Lurkers, come out! You know who you are. You read my blog, but have not commented. Today I invite you to delurk and leave a comment.
Edited to add one more!
The two week wait is hard, but it’s been a little easier with the company of fellow blogger friends: Vee & Jay, Co & Lo, Gretch & Jen and Grrlscout & Rabbit. We’re almost there!
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